First day

Deakin Flying Start Day 1


The day started off in a very unlucky manner, when I was rudely awakened by the sudden realization that I’d left my yellow timetable in school.
The very timetable that was printed specially for these three days to tell us what/where/when exactly our different sessions are.

And it’s not even like I misplaced it and just couldn’t find it anywhere.
I knew EXACTLY where it was: sitting happily in my locker.
I’d specially brought the yellow paper to school, put it happily in my file, and then at the end of the day, went on to happily leave said file in school.
I was resourceful of course, and printed the Deakin map off the internet. :D


Kiasu as we are, we decided to take a super early bus, and ended up arriving at Deakin at about 7.55, with 35 minutes to spare.
35 minutes which we spent looking at all the normal people who arrived at very normal times such as 8.20.



First session for my group was a talk on Managing Anxiety.
I felt it kinda pointless because the more they talked about the symptoms of anxiety, the more anxious I got.
The psychologist kept repeating the phrase “If you or any of your friends show (blah blah example of anxiety symptom), please, you need to GET HELP”
The way she said it was so annoying, she’s talking to us like we’re a bunch of crazy who NEED TO GET HELP.
I am insulted.



Second session was a talk about the calculation of ENTER.
At least, this was much more useful that the anxiety talk.
We learnt the oh-so-complicated process of moderation, and oohed and ahhed at the wonderment of it all.
(Okay we didn’t. Half the people were probably not even listening anyway)



By lunchtime, I was already starting to feel the dread rising up in me, and I regretted asking my mum to make me lunch, because I wasn’t really in the mood to eat it anyway.
Looking at all the happy people frolicking in the sun,k talking about how their orals are over was quite depressing. (and panic inducing)
I ended up going up to the oral classroom really early (Remember? We’re a bunch of kiasu people. I was so afraid I’d get lost and be given 0 for my oral) and sat outside the room like a loner.



When the whole group of people came up, I realized that they were the people who would be staring at me as I present my speech, the people who would condemn me as their most hated person on Earth due to the fact that I would be making a speech about muck up day being banned forever and ever and ever.
I scrutinized their faces really carefully. I needed to know who would hate me when we left the room.
It turned out that there wasn’t anyone I actually know in my group (there were even some guys I’ve never even seen before) so it wasn't too bad.
For lack of things to do, I asked my neighbor (George) what his topic was:

L: So what topic are you doing?
G: Oh, muck up day.
L: (was very shocked) Um, for or against?
G: Against.
L: (faints and dies a horrific death)

I couldn’t really decide whether to rejoice (because we would be two people condemned to the hate fate together) or to despair (because I would be compared to him as his name is before me on the roll meaning he would give his speech before me)
As it turned out, HIS SPEECH WAS SO BLOODY GOOD OKAY I AM VERY ANGRY.
I wilted and shrunk lower into my chair with every sentence he spoke.


Not only did I get another person with EXACTLY THE SAME TOPIC/STANCE as me, unlucky as I’m always am, the person before me spoke very passionately about public transport (his topic)
Compared to him, I probably sounded like some idiotic robot. (Robotic idiot? Same thing)




The strange thing was that after having practiced my speech about 79 times last night, the words have been so deeply ingrained in my head that I felt quite at ease during the actual speech.
It didn’t feel as though the adrenaline pumped as much as last year’s speech.
I guess it’s the building up, the worry, the anxiousness, the beginning that terrifies everyone.
I think after having looked at about 10 pairs of trembling hands before me, it probably sunk in that everyone was just as terrified as I was. (Oh yes, and my neighbour was going crazy talking to himself before his turn. He was like "ohmygod I’m going to die kill me kill me kill me")


It’s just about keeping up the façade, and pushing our fears below the surface.
Now that it’s all over, I kind of actually wish it had been more exciting.
For some reason, I have almost no recollection of my own actual speech at all.
It was like an out-of-body experience, where I’m just talking and talking like a robot being programmed to.
When I sat down, my neighbour told me it was “really good” but obviously I didn’t really believe him because I know that compared to all the others, my speech wasn’t that spectacular.
But I’m quite thankful for that he even bothered to say it. Imagine how it would have been if I'd sat down and they had all whispered among themselves about how I sucked.



I can’t actually believe that something I’ve dreaded for so long is finally over.
It’s funny to think that 2 months ago, I thought that this moment would never arrive.
Now I’m just waiting for it to sink in, that oral is over over over over over over and I never have to present anything to anyone for the rest of the year ever again.

Now I can look forward to the next two days in peace!


Gooooood luck to everyone who are taking their orals tomorrow/Friday, and to those taking their first written SAC tomorrow! (HA SEE I AM SO NICE, I’M NOT LAUGHING)